Is your copywriter larding up your copy with clichés?
You know the kind I mean . . .
"Our people are our most important asset"
"Content is king"
"We're committed to your success"
"So call now. You'll be glad you did."
These lines and many more like them are lazy cop-outs and that's just not good enough. You deserve better!
If you're going to work with a professional copywriter, it should be someone who's really thinking and working hard to be persuasive.
Let me give you an example . . .
Some time ago I wrote a direct mail package for the Atlanta Golf Classic.
The target audience was large Atlanta businesses who we wanted to buy big blocks of tickets to the event.
I kept writing glowing prose about the great golf that the reader would see at the Classic, but I knew I wasn't really connecting. I hadn't found the "hot button" that would get big companies to buy a lot of tickets.
I started thinking about what the Atlanta Golf Classic was really offering corporate attendees and realized it was a lot more than golf.
They were giving companies the chance to build relationships with valued clients and customers by inviting them out for the day. This was a chance for executives to kick back and get away from the office, have a few drinks, and get to know each other on a personal level.
This human dimension, not merely the golf, is what had to be massaged in the copy and punched up in the letter's ending. I knew I was on to something and the ending wrote itself:
"On a personal note, let me add that the BellSouth Atlanta Classic is a truly magnificent sporting event that I know you, your clients, and customers will enjoy tremendously.
If you want to have a fabulous time, while you create or strengthen important business relationships, I urge you to pick up tickets while they're still available.
The dogwood will be in bloom. The weather will be beautiful. These are the days you always said you owed yourself!
The letter, I am pleased to say, worked like a charm!
How about I make some money for you? Give me a call at (415) 461-0672 and let me quote (reasonably!) on your next email, landing page, letter, you name it!
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