Direct response copywriter creates seminar/webinar invitations

Ivan Levison —
Direct Mail, E-mail and Advertising Copywriting

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THE LEVISON LETTER
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Action Ideas For Better Direct Mail,
E-mail, Web Sites & Advertising

Published by
Ivan Levison, Direct Response Copywriting

June 2007
Volume: 22 Number: 6

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Sign 'Em Up For Your Seminar -
The Right Way To Write Seminar Invitations
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So you're all set to hold a seminar.

You've got everything you need: a great product to demo, a spellbinding speaker lined up,
and the legally required tray of Danish.

All well and good. But the truth of the matter is that getting people to attend your seminar
is never an easy task. Why? Because you're asking someone to leave the office (away
from the phone and e-mail), and sit, instead, in an overly air-conditioned room listening to your pitch.

Nope. If someone is going to attend your seminar these days, they really have to be
motivated. And the place to motivate them is in your invitation, where the proverbial rubber
hits the road.

In fact, I've always believed that the best measure of a copywriter's skill is how well
they write seminar invitations. You see, if you can get someone to show up at 8:30 in
the morning, on a day of your choosing, you're pretty darned good!

How do you go about convincing people to attend your seminar? By making sure your
direct response copywriter loads up on benefits and turning the enthusiasm up to "High."

Let's take a look at part of an actual seminar invitation e-mail sent by a well-known software
company and see how the copywriter handles the job. I'll quote a section that takes up most
of the e-mail. (The company's name has been changed.)

"Still trying to decide if you'll attend? Here are five quick reasons why you should register now
for this one-day event:

1. You'll learn how to acquire, retain and satisfy more customers using proven solutions from
the eBusiness industry leader: Ebusiness Solutions.

2. You'll discover new ways to build strong customer relationships through your call center
by utilizing phone, fax, e-mail and Web resources.

3. You'll learn to integrate eBusiness with your channel strategy for successful direct and
indirect sales.

4. You'll find out how you can increase revenue, improve customer satisfaction, and boost
employee productivity 15%-21% within 10 months.

5. You'll get in FREE, but you must register right away to guarantee yourself a seat."

So what do you think?

In my opinion, there are some nice things going on, but there's PLENTY of room for
improvement. For example, the copywriter's lead-in sentences that set up the numbered
items never mention that the event is free.

Where is this vitally important fact highlighted? Way down in number five! Burying the
"FREE" is a very naughty no-no that gets a copywriter sent to his/her room.

And what about the tone of the copy? It's O.K. but not enthusiastic enough. It's not
brimming with the energy you need to really get people moving.

Here . . . I'll rewrite the passage, and we'll see how we like it:

"Still trying to decide if you should attend this important FREE Ebusiness Solutions event?
Here are just five fabulous reasons for registering now at 1-800-123-1234!

You'll learn . . .

1. Six proven ways to recruit new and highly qualified customers. (It's worth attending our
free event for this information alone!)

2. The secret of building till-death-do-us-part customer relationships. (We'll show
you how to use phone, fax, e-mail, and Web resources to serve your customers in brand
new ways!)

3. How to integrate e-Business with your current channel strategy. (We've got practical ideas for
dramatically increasing direct AND indirect sales!)

4. Four ways to increase revenue, improve customer satisfaction, and boost employee
productivity by over 20% - all within 10 months. (This isn't hype or overpromise. We'll
show you how you can actually do it!)

5. Why companies like American Glass, Continental Foods, United Trucking, and other
forward-looking companies are our valued clients. Listen to Bill Jackson, President of
American Glass: "An Ebusiness Solution seminar is an event not to be missed. If
you're serious about staying competitive, their fact-filled seminar is for you!"

Do you like the copy spunky, or are you someone like my conservative English wife, who
thinks it's a bit crass to be so relentlessly energetic? For seminar invitation copy, I vote for
the high-energy version. Big time.

The take-away message this month?

If you're preparing a seminar, and don't want to wind up talking to four sleepy people,
get yourself worked up, pull out the stops, and write your invitation with passion.

. . . And don't forget the Danish.

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How To Get In Touch
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Ivan Levison
Direct Response Copywriting
14 Los Cerros Drive
Greenbrae, CA 94904

Phone: (415) 461-0672
Fax: (415) 461-7738
E-mail: ivan@levison.com
Web Site: http://www.levison.com

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